Psychologist Mark Travers outlines a three-step approach to address the habit of shutting down during conflict, reframing it not as a lack of effort but as an automatic defense mechanism rooted in adult attachment theory. The strategy involves first naming the 'freeze' response internally, using self-distancing techniques to reduce its intensity. The second step replaces a silent exit with a timed, communicated return, acknowledging the need for the nervous system to regulate after emotional flooding. Finally, the approach emphasizes building emotional regulation capacity before conflicts arise to foster genuine independence rather than a protective shield. AI
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- Frontiers in Psychology
- Gottman Institute
- Handbook of Emotion Regulation
- Research in Psychotherapy: Psychopathology, Process and Outcome
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